"Agony"

I wake up in sweat,
grab my gun.
But it didnt occur to me
that it was only a dream.
I go through this every day,
rewatch it in my head...
See my best friends
get blown to pieces by IEDs.
I can see their faces
right before they got hit.
I'll always remember
what happened that day.
I want to know,
want to know why I didn't die with them...
Why was I spared
and they died a horrible death?
It makes no sense,
why did this happen to me?
Now I have to live without them,
but still see their faces every night.
There's no way to stop this...
No drugs can heal me...
The bad memories always come back...
To haunt me for ever
I reach for my gun,
load one in the chamber.
I can't live like this anymore,
it's got to end.
But something stops me...
I hear steps...
The steps of my daughter
walking up the stairs.
I can't leave her here,
leave her fatherless.
I put the gun away
and try to live through this agony.


Thousands of people, both citizen and military personnel, suffer from PTSD...or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Around 58,000 men died in Vietnam. Estimates say that around 200,000 Vietnam war vets have committed suicide...most of them suffered from PTSD. We need to be aware of what this means. We have men and women coming home from Iraq and Afghanistan who have seen things that are truly unimaginable. Alot of them will suffer from PTSD in the years to come. Some have already ended their lives. We need to pray for these people...